Usefulness ≠ Worth

Yesterday's reading about measuring our worth made me reflect upon how God truly values us. God doesn’t equate worth with pure usefulness. The meek will inherit the earth, Jesus said, right? Yet in this season as a first-year teacher--and this season of lent--I often identify my self-worth with what I can offer to someone else.

Am I only useful if I am a good husband? Does my value rest in my accomplishments as a teacher?

I grappled with this tension between worth and usefulness this week. Tuesday in a class discussion about modern-day slavery, one student said, “I wouldn’t help people enslaved in Africa. I don’t think they would rescue me if I were enslaved.” It was an honest comment that I appreciated, although it reminded me of some cold, harsh attitudes that exist.

After reading through Nouwen’s observations about worth, I returned to class Thursday to challenge my students. Is that what a human life is worth to you? Is that how you want to be valued? Are we only worth what “services/talents” we can offer somebody?

Many students answered with resignation. “That’s how our marketplace is set up,” one student said. “In our jobs, we only get paid for what we can do.” A few students disagreed. “If any of us have a heart, we’d do something to help that person who’s enslaved.” I shuddered at the dim display of compassion in my classroom. I hope and pray that God will touch more of those hearts.

He touched mine this week. I am thankful for the reminder that my value in Christ does not depend upon my teaching evaluations. I’m grateful God doesn’t equate my worth to my usefulness. As a newbie teacher, I feel inadequate at times, especially as papers pile high, stress rises and my patience grows short.

But God’s love for me is a pure gift. I did nothing to earn His favor. Sure, I have this crazy workload, but it is His abundant blessing. How many first-year college teachers get this amount of experience? How many people have a 10-minute commute to work? I have encouraging friends and family, and the most loving and supportive wife that anyone could hope for. He has deemed me worthy. God calls all of us worthy.